Dear Family,
This week Dennis and I have been on our trip to Mexico. It was a family trip with most of my siblings and parents. (Josh-we missed you!) Anne -we missed you too! It was so fun! We had an amazing trip and were able to relax and unwind. My cousin Shawn got us five star accommodations at his time share resort. It was so fancy. We felt very spoiled and pampered.
The highlights of the trip included trips to several beaches, A beautiful hike to a waterfall swimming hole, and a boat trip where we got fed delicious food by a personal chef and we got to swim with the whale sharks. It was incredible. We also had plenty of time to relax, read and soak in some sun. We were able to cook our own meals in the condo and it turned out just perfect. I am so grateful for these fun memories and precious time with my family.
I am now looking forward to the next experience with warm. We will go visit Natalie in March to see Rhett get baptized. I am excited to see them again and get another warm "fix". My lungs are very unhappy here in the cold air.
The latest health update: I am headed in for chemo tomorrow. There has been some talk of changing my treatment as the cancer in my lungs are growing and it is not staying at bay. The new treatment would be a chemo pill and an infusion. It sounds like the side effects are not much better than regular chemo. I can expect an acne like rash on my face and diarrhea. We will find out tomorrow if they are wanting to make the switch. The numbness in my leg continues to torture me. It is really quite frustrating as it limits my ability to do things I love. (Dancing, driving, exercise) Walking through the airports was pretty difficult as well. Unfortunately, It does not seem to get more strong with use. Rather, it seems to run out of steam.
I have been trying to do some Yoga, and even though my balance is very compromised, I am pushing through! It feels like a win. I did some water aerobics at the resort, and was pleased to be able to move better in the water. (It is the small things!)
The steroid that I am taking for the swelling in my brain has some pretty annoying side effects. It makes me feel crazy and wired, and unable to sleep. It also is affecting my appetite...I feel starving all of the time. It also makes me very puffy and swollen. I keep biting my cheeks and I no longer need to put on any eyeshadow. I am trying to take the second dose earlier in the day. It is helping with the sleep a bit! The numbness has not improved much.
This week I loved reading in 2 Nephi. I learned more about our first parents, the fall, and the need for a Savior who made it possible for us to return to the Father. I learned about the importance of opposition in all things. And more about the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Ezra Taft Benson said, "Daily, constantly, we choose by our desires, our thoughts, and our actions whether we want to be blessed or cursed, happy or miserable."
God gives us power to choose our path. I love that he always has unfailing respect for our freedom and agency. He leads by persuasion, long-suffering and patience. All he really wants is for us to turn to our Savior and let him change our hearts. That is his goal!
I also loved this quote from the Book of Mormon Institute Student Manual by Richard G. Scott:
"The Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences to stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where he wants you requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain."
He is aware of my struggles and he is helping me grow! It all has purpose. Even the discomfort and pain.
Lehi's promised Jacob; "Thou knowest the greatness of God; and he shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain."
I know the greatness of God. I trust Him with my growth, I look forward to promised future blessings.
May you find the same peace and joy as you turn to him in your struggles.
Loads of Love,
Emilie
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